Closer to God

Since the day I was young I had preminitions of an ending to come, Behind the barrel of the next man's gun. It used to be fun, when I'm the one doin' the clappin', Now I'm facin' my death, doin' fast breath, no laughin'. How can this happen, holdin' my chest to the floor, Laid up, or spraid up dreamin' to even the score. Bright lights all I saw my life flashed before me, From a distance I heard a faint voice steady call me. I guess my time is here, surpress my fear I'm ready, Tryin' to breath steady, feelin' my legs gettin' heavy. Lord, don't let me..die this young, without leavin' a son, To carry tradition, listen my life has just begun. A nightmare flip visions of swingin' the poolstick, Defendin' my near if I turn left the pool quick. Lost control of my mind, flipped the safety of the nine, And squeezed tastin' down this judge and roused, then fell on my knees. Weak from my heart feel my chest gettin' hot, I got caught, Vivid memories of how my gun dropped, bullets in stock. Lost all thoughts of me rappin' try to catch one for I die, For self satisfaction, get up off my knees begged him don't please. Picked up the squeeze dipped behind cars bullet shelves hittin' the trees, Curse my enemies will be as smart enough to take cover. Feelin' my body shudder as I drop right in front of, The boot place as hot shells hit the cheek of my face. Catchin' bloody taste, watch my blood leave trace. Hennessy got me trippin' plus the brew I was sippin'. Feelin' more blood drippin' I see them load a second clip in, Betreated, I been defeated my life is ice like popsicles. Open the door hit the floor of the hospital, It's on. My heart's racin' a casualty and convertation. Hopin' one day I'll awake and feelin' my body, start shakin'. I been mistakin' retaliation to come, Soon holdin' my gun boom on the floor of the hospital room. Or shall I cry for help as I look up at the ceiling. My inner feelin' tellin' me to start healin' not in a million, Years I would wanna end here, whipin' my tears. Thinkin' of my long lost carreer, in this business of rap, Now flat on my back, tryin' to put it place to face on this enemy cat. Cardiac control, I put a hold on my soul, Twenty-two years old and my life gon' took her some toe. My body fall for numerous feelings I fell layin' here lonely, Watchin' my homie scream for help I hear a doctor. Yellin' directions to the meds cut open my friends, Bring me to the nearest bed half dead. My inner head screamin' losin' my breathin', Don't remember the good Krumb, only the bad one, And now I can tell the depths of hell for evils I've done. Can't run, facin' my worst of fears, Leavin' my physical as my spiritual descends stairs. But wait, this can't be real, I feel the agents are real, Askin' my name, overlookin' my bloodstained gold chain. Easin' my pain from where we came I don't know, But he's tellin' me it's not the right time to go. Back in my fo' tubes suckin' the ooze from my mouth, As nurses run about, tryin' to send me down south. Who shot ya? That's word from the detect' and the doctor, Before I got flown to Beantown in a helicopter. I awake with cold feet feelin' weak and can't eat, Seein' homies stand around, but no sounds I can't speak. Cheap hospital clothes a badged up of holes got me depressed, As I'm lookin' at my legs and my chest. They patched up five, lucky that I had survived, Layin' in bed with a naked head, but alive. We call it a night, before, we tryin' to make sure, I was staggerin' in to the hospital door. Whosader, the flash to a honourable respitator, The flashback to me gettin' respect form my savior, I can't understand it, must been the way that they planned it. And my commandment I've never takin' live for granted, Rememberin' on my knees, beggin' please, Don't let my soul get seized, lost track of my thoughts, Cause the d.t.'s came and question me, testin' me, Guess havin' thoughts arrestin' me. Stop stressin' me cause ain't no confession see, Funny ain't it thought I was back in an inseignment, Now my image is tainted coughed on my crutches for enreignment. Damn..